BV

Brian VanHooker

Freelance Writer at Various Publications

Brian VanHooker is a New York-based writer specializing in pop culture, food (especially pizza) and in-depth oral histories. He was a staff writer at MEL and Zimbio and has bylines at Inverse, Input, SFGate, Screen Rant, Men's Health, Maxim and more. Brian is the co-creator of the comic book series Barnum & Elwood and co-wrote and co-directed the pilot The Tramp starring John O'Hurley (Seinfeld, Family Feud). He also hosts a podcast about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles called Turtle Tracks and was once called a "good guy" by Mr. T.

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  • Cracked
    7 articles
  • Various Publications

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  • The 50 Funniest Dogs in Movie History
    5 Aug 2024—Cracked
    Welcome to the dog days of summer, where you’ll sweat through your clothes mere seconds after stepping outside and you risk a nasty sunburn just from getting your mail. Don't Miss 26 Miscast Actors Authors Cracked Plasticians Published 07/12/2018 37 of the Funniest Tweets from Wednesday, August 14, 2024 Authors Ian Garner Published 08/14/2024 13 Self-Owns from Self-Important Celebrities Authors JhallComics, Jay Wells L'Ecuyer Published 04/07/2023 That said, we’re more interested in the canine...
  • —Cracked
  • What Actually Happens If You Give a Cat Lasagna Like in ‘Garfield’?
    23 May 2024—Cracked
    It’s worse for them than Mondays are, that’s for sure May 23, 2024 There’s a new Garfield movie out tomorrow, and while most people are asking why Chris Pratt was chosen to replace Bill Murray as the voice of Garfield, the movie’s release has reignited a curiosity I’ve had ever since I was a kid: What would happen if you actually fed a cat lasagna? I have two cats of my own, but I’m leery of just handing them a tray of lasagna like Jon does to Garfield. After all, lasagna takes over an hour...
  • How Many Bees Would It Take to Kill Jason Statham?
    15 Jan 2024—Cracked
    Jason Statham’s new movie The Beekeeper arrived in theaters on Friday. And true to its name, he plays a highly-trained killer known as a “Beekeeper.” He also just happens to be an actual beekeeper, which naturally begs the question: How many bees would it take to kill Jason Statham? After all, the man is a major action star, which would seemingly make him hardier than the average man — and certainly more impenetrable to bees. Right? Not necessarily, says Zachary Huang, a professor of...
  • We Asked Seafood Chefs How They’d Prepare Aquaman
    22 Dec 2023—Cracked
    The release of Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom marks the end of Jason Momoa’s time as Aquaman. But rather than toss this version of the aquatic hero back into the water, we want to savor him in exactly the way he should be savored: like a gigantic, muscular piece of seafood. And so, we reached out to a couple of prominent seafood chefs to tell us precisely how they’d prepare Aquaman as a dish. Aquaman Rainbow Roll Mike Collantes, sushi master and Michelin star chef, owner of Soseki: You’d have...

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