Beth Bigler is a double-certified Pet Loss Grief Counselor, end-of-life animal companion doula, and pet chaplain dedicated to helping guardians honor the profound bonds they share with their beloved animals. After experiencing the sudden death of her soulmate cat, Arnie, Beth transformed her grief into a compassionate mission: guiding others to validate their experience, connect with their beloveds, and integrate grief into their lives. As the founder of Honoring Our Animals, Beth is one of the world’s leading voices in pet loss support, offering personalized care to individuals and families before, during, and after their beloved’s transition. An entertainment industry veteran, Beth enjoyed a twenty-year career as a writer, producer, and educator for stage, page, film, and television.
Here are some ways people can support an animal griever:
--Remember that many pet guardians see their animal as a member of their family. Send condolences, say their pet's name, and acknowledge their deep pain.
--Share memories or photos of their animal if you have them. Remind them that they were an amazing animal parent.
--Listen attentively to their stories and remember that grief has no timeline. Try to withold judgement about the length and intensity of their grief.
--Send flowers, coffee, a card, or a delicious meal to show your love.
--Offer to sit with them, walk with them, or chat on the phone. Even something as simple as sending a weekly "I'm thinking of you" text can be comforting. Grief can feel isolating and grievers need to know they are not alone.
Think of intentional ways to include your beloved in everything about Thanksgiving. In this, you honor them and the unique and profound relationship you shared and continue to share.
1. Create a Memory Corner: Dedicate a small space at your Thanksgiving gathering for your pet. Display their favorite toys, a beautiful photo, or even their collar. It’s a gentle, yet powerful reminder of their presence in your life.
2. Light a Candle: Begin your Thanksgiving meal by lighting a candle in honor of your pet. This simple act can be a meaningful way to acknowledge their absence and the love that still lights up your heart.
3. Share Stories: Encourage your guests to share fond memories or funny stories about your pet. This can be a loving way to keep their spirit alive, fostering a sense of togetherness and celebrating the joy they bring into your lives.
4. Set a Place at the Table: Honor your pet by setting a small place at the table with their photo or a special memento. This symbolic gesture acknowledges their lasting presence in your family.
What if you choose self-compassion over self-punishment during pet loss grief? Imagine releasing the guilt you’ve been holding onto, the “shoulds” that weigh you down.